


Letters From Her

by charlottedrake



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Arrow - Freeform, F/F, Kinda, Lauricity - Freeform, Letters, POV Laurel Lance, idk I wrote this a while ago, smoaksiren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 11:16:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18164504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlottedrake/pseuds/charlottedrake
Summary: In which earth-2 Laurel comes across a journal from this earth's Laurel. As she learns more about her doppelgänger's life, she finds herself falling in love.





	Letters From Her

**Author's Note:**

> So I was looking through my drafts and I found this. I wrote this back in like Jan/Feb and never got around to publishing it so: here it is! 
> 
> S/N: I haven't watched arrow since like halfway through season 4, so this might not be 100% accurate in terms of canon, but it's a fic so. I was inspired to write this because I came across some Laurel and Felicity scenes on twitter and fell in love with them all over again. 
> 
> S/N pt 2: please excuse any spelling errors that there may be... I kind of wrote this at 3 am...
> 
> Enjoy!

She kicks the rusty, old door open, letting herself in without permission. Well, since she  _ is  _ Laurel Lance, she technically  _ does  _ have permission to be entering this place. She even managed to guess the other Laurel’s passcode to this place: her father’s birthday, how typical. Seems like her and her doppelgänger have a couple of things in common.

 

Tragic, that those insufferable heroes from Team Arrow can’t see that. She’s not going to lie, she gets where they’re coming from- kinda. She did cause a shit load of destruction and she has hurt a great number of people since her arrival to Earth-1; she’s been a pain towards them, she won’t deny that. 

 

But you know what else is a pain? Having to constantly hear the same things like repeated over and over again. 

 

_ “You’re Laurel, but you’re not my Laurel.” _

 

_ “You’re not her.” _

 

_ “You may look like her, but you’re not her.”  _

 

_ “You’re not the real Laurel.” _

 

Alright! She gets it. She’ll never compare to their _precious_ Earth-1 Laurel! Whatever! That’s cool, it’s not like she really has any intentions of becoming like _their_ Laurel.

 

_ Besides, what’s so special about her anyways?  _ That’s something Black Siren had started to wonder upon meeting everyone from Earth-1. She supposes she understood where Oliver was coming from, given that he seemed to share a special relationship with this earth’s Laurel just like the Oliver from her earth did with her. 

 

But the way the others reacted upon first seeing her, Felicity especially if she wants to get specific, it made her wonder just how great their Laurel was. She didn’t know Felicity Smoak well back in her earth; she only knew her as this ruthless ruler with coal-black hair and blood-red lips, so it’s needless to say that she was taken aback upon meeting this earth’s version of Felicity Smoak. 

 

Tied up blonde hair, pink tainted lips, and glasses that covered those unfamiliar, soft, blue eyes. The way she had clutched onto her for a moment as her breath blew past her ear, took Laurel by surprise as well. It was quite the unexpected twist given that she and Felicity Smoak back in Earth-2, weren’t always the friendliest towards each other. But hey, who knew that this earth’s Felicity cared so much about her doppelgänger? If she were to tell the Felicity from her earth this, she would never believe her.

 

After that encounter, Laurel was intrigued. That curiosity continued to grow the more time she spent around her and the rest of the team. They all seemed to love their Laurel very much, which brought her here: to her doppelgänger’s storage room, where apparently her parents moved all of her stuff to after she was killed. 

 

What could she say? She wants to get to know herself a little better. Find out what all the damn fuss is about when it comes to this earth’s Laurel.

 

There’s a lot of boxes. Some of them seem like they’re ripping through, so it seems like the last person who came here was clearly in a rush to get out of there because they did  _ not _ do a good job at putting her stuff properly inside.

 

Laurel walks around the small room, with her arms crossed, eyeing each of the boxes carefully. She doesn’t know where to start. There’s so much to look at, she’s kind of starting to regret with this idea of hers. What if this earth’s Laurel turns out to be boring as hell and she ends up falling asleep on this cold, dirty floor?! 

 

She crouches near the stack of boxes, some of them had some clothing pieces sticking out. She pulls the first one that catches her eye towards herself, opening its flaps one by one. 

 

Clothes.

 

Clothes.

 

Clothes.

 

Seems like this earth’s Laurel owned a lot of blazers, which really shouldn’t be a surprise to her. She was a lawyer after all. 

 

Nothing much to see in that box, except for her doppelgänger’s lack of variety when it came to her fashion sense.

 

She leans forward a bit, reaching for another box, and dragging it across the floor towards her. This one feels a lot heavier than the first one. Again, she opens the box and finds herself about just as disinterested as she felt upon opening the first box. 

 

Lots and lots of papers and documents. Probably from some of her old cases. She’s surprised no one has bothered turning these in. Or maybe they’re unimportant. Who knows, all she knows is that she wasn’t getting any answers out of these papers.

 

By the time she gets to the third box, she’s beginning to think this probably wasn’t the best idea. A much more rational idea, would’ve been to simply ask the others about her doppelgänger, but then again, Laurel didn’t want them to think that she cared. She doesn’t care. They just happen to be people that she’s decided to align herself with against a common enemy.

 

Sure she helped get Oliver Queen out of prison, despite him not being too fond of her at all; not that it mattered, she didn’t really like him at all either. He was nothing like her Oliver from earth-2. And sure, despite having a rocky relationship with Dinah Drake, she may or may not be sort of warming up to her. Kind of, but she doesn’t care much for her either. She’s sure the feeling’s mutual anyways, right? No, no she doesn’t care. She doesn’t. Same goes for the rest of the team, they’re not friends, hell, she’s pretty sure they don’t even completely trust her. They’re just a group of individuals who have aligned themselves to achieve one common goal and that’s that. She doesn’t care.

 

_ Liar.  _

 

Her thoughts echo as the image of a short-haired blonde with glasses, invades her mind. Despite her better judgement, she’s allowed herself to get close to her, Felicity Smoak. She’s still not sure if that was the best idea. Who knew that she would end up caring, just a  _ tiny  _ bit for her. Just a little bit. Not much, really. 

 

Again, her mind taunts her.

 

_ Liar. _

 

Laurel huffs. Okay, fine! Maybe she did care a little for the team and maybe she did consider this earth’s Felicity Smoak a friend. Wait, are they even friends? Is that an appropriate term to use for someone you tried to kill when you first met them? Hey, it’s not her fault. The woman was infuriating and not at all like someone who she would typically find herself growing close to. Funny how things work, because now, she actually kind of likes her. Kind of. How could she not, though? Especially after everything she’s done for her recently.

 

Laurel opens the third box and is actually surprised to find something not-so boring about her doppelgänger's life. 

 

Pictures.

 

“Wow.” she snorts upon picking up a picture of this earth’s Laurel as a kid, styled in frizzy pigtails and dressed in an oversized, stained, red t-shirt. She’s thankful that her parents never dressed her in something as hideous as this.

 

She also finds a picture of her counterpart and Oliver. It looked like they were probably in their late teens or early twenties, she’s not too sure. All she knows is that Oliver Queen does not look good with long hair. Good for him for cutting it, he did everyone a favor by doing that.

 

Laurel finds more pictures. One of her doppelgänger and her sister in their teen years. She wonders how their relationship functioned, she’s not sure she would’ve been so forgiving of her sister for hooking up with her boyfriend. Who knows. Yet another reason why her earth’s Oliver was better than this. Then she comes across several pictures of her doppelgänger’s family at some water park. They seem close. She looks through the pictures for a few more minutes, before shifting her attention towards the fourth box of the stack.

 

Her knees jiggled a bit due to their tired state, forcing her to sit down down right on the dirty, rusty floor. She hopes they don’t mess up her pants. 

 

There’s books in this box. Funny, she didn’t think anyone who lived a double life as an attorney by day and vigilante by night would have much time for reading, but apparently this Laurel did. Well, at least now she knows one thing that everyone loved about this earth’s Laurel: she was pretty good at multitasking.

 

She mindlessly goes through the books: law books, sci-fi books, more law books, and a lot of thriller books. Well, seems like she definitely chose the right career for herself. Laurel then grabs ahold of an unusual journal-like book that piques her attention. 

 

It had a black hardcover with what appeared to be the outline of a bird at the bottom right corner of the book. Most likely a canary. Ha, funny. Did earth-1 Laurel really like birds that much or what?

 

Given the fact that this journal seemed to be custom made for her doppelgänger, Laurel found herself growing intrigued as her fingers traced over the hardcover of the book. The spine of the box had some Arabic words on it, too.

 

She pulls the cover of the book open, revealing the yellow, blank pages that were at the beginning of the book. There’s a note taped onto the blank page. 

 

_ Hey Laur.. I know I’ve only been gone for a few days, but I already miss you. Not sure when I’ll be back in town so until then you can use this to write to me, though you’ll probably have to wait until I’m back in Starling for me to read them.  _

 

_ Love you - Sara 5/10/14 _

 

Was this a diary? Hm, she didn’t take her for a diary-girl. Then again, she didn’t really know this Laurel. 

 

She flips the page and found the first journal entry.

 

_ 10-10-14 _

 

_ I’m sorry. I never used this. I don’t even know why I’m doing this honestly, you’re gone. It’s not like you’ll ever read this. I’m sorry Sara. I’m sorry that I couldn’t save you.  _

 

_ I don’t have the heart to tell them. How can I tell them that their little girl just died after finally getting you back. It’s not fair! You just got back. It’s not fair. _

 

That was a short one. This must’ve been from when this earth’s Sara died. 

 

She flips the page.

 

_ 10-15-14 _

 

_ We just got you back. How am I going to tell him that you’re gone, again? How am I supposed to tell him that I watched as you died in my arms? It’ll kill him. I can’t do that to him, Sara. He and I, we’re alcoholics… and believe me, I’ve been so tempted to.. But I won’t. For you, I won’t. I don’t know about dad, though. He’s already going through so much with taking care of his health. And he was just so happy to have you back. I don’t want to take that away from him.  _

 

_ I’m just so angry. This isn’t fair! You deserved better! You were so young and so full of life, you deserved happiness Sara and they took that from you. Don’t worry. I don’t how and I don’t know when, but I promise you, that I’ll make whoever did this to you pay. And I won’t rest until I do. _

 

Huh, seemed like her doppelgänger had her own inner darkness, as well. Laurel respects that. In fact, this earth’s version of Laurel just got a lot more interesting for her. She’s about to turn the next page, when the sound of banging startles her a bit, resulting in her instantly hiding the journal behind her back, as if she were a teenager who had just got caught looking at adult magazines. 

 

“What the hell?!” she makes no effort to mask her annoyance as a tall man, in gray peaks through the door of the storage room. “Sorry ma’am, but we’re closing in 5! You need to leave.” he informs her.

 

“Oh.” Laurel replies stiffly, still clutching onto her doppelgänger’s journal behind her back. “Very well, then. I will be out shortly.” 

 

He takes her answer and leaves her to it. Quickly, she tries to tidy things up to the way they were before she arrived. She didn’t want anyone to think someone had intruded. Laurel’s hesitant to leave the journal, especially given the fact that this might be the key to helping her  _ actually  _ learn what made earth-1 Laurel so special to everyone.

 

_ Hmm,  _ she supposes no one will really notice if it’s missing, right? She stuffs it into her coat and exits the room before the security guard comes back and attempts to throw her out. That would definitely be an embarrassment on his part.

 

**.**

 

For the last half hour or so, she’s occupied herself with reading 3 more journal entries from her doppelgänger. For the majority part, it was just Laurel venting at how unreasonable this earth’s Oliver Queen was being by taking Malcolm Merlyn’s word. Not to mention how unreasonable he was being at the idea of taking her out on the streets with him. 

 

Huh, guess this version of Oliver irritated his Laurel just as much as he’s irritated her. Was she being too harsh on him? Perhaps she was or perhaps she wasn’t. Who knows?! All that Laurel knows is that she’s finding herself to be more invested in these journal entries than she should be.

 

She’s a busy woman now, she has things to do. Yet, here she lies on her very comfortable sheets, about to start reading her fourth journal entry of the night, when the sound of her phone  _ ‘dinging’  _ interrupts her.

 

Laurel reaches over to the counter besides her bed, pulling her phone towards her face. The corner of her mouth tilts upwards slightly upon seeing that she’s received a text from her  _ possibly-new  _ friend, Felicity.

 

She sent a picture.

 

Laurel unlocks her phone and is greeted with a selfie of the blonde woman pouting slightly. She was wearing a white, oversized  _ MIT  _ shirt and it seemed like she, too, was lying on her bed. Weird thing was, Oliver was nowhere in sight.

 

_ Cute.  _ Laurel thinks before she can stop herself as she scrolls down to read the message that followed the picture.

 

_ F: Guess it’s just me and my very trusty, security tech for the next few hours :’D _

 

_ L: Don’t tell me your dear husband got himself arrest again?  _

 

Laurel texts back.

 

She’s only partially kidding, but knowing Oliver, she wouldn’t put it past him. She does wonder why he isn’t home by now. Did he really leave her alone for the entire night?

 

She hears another  _ ding. _

 

_ F: OMG! stop you’ll jinx it!!!! _

 

Is the first message she receives.

 

Another  _ ding. _

 

_ F: But he and Dinah went out to follow some lead or something. I don’t know, he didn’t elaborate much since he was in a rush. _

 

_ F: Apparently SCPD doesn’t tolerate illegal hacking in order to take the bad guys down or whatever. _

 

Laurel puts her doppelgänger’s journal, becoming suddenly more invested in texting her possible-new friend.

 

_ L: So, I’m assuming you’re either texting because you need help with something else that’s illegal or because you’re just bored? _

 

Felicity replies within an instant,

 

_ F: I’m just bored :p _

 

Laurel resists the urge to smile. That’s something she’s been doing quite often now around her new-possible friend.

 

_ L: Hmm, well I suppose I don’t have anything better to do anyways. _

 

_ L: I can be very entertaining. _

 

She’s not sure what exactly she meant by that last message, but she hits  _ send  _ nonetheless. 

 

As expected, Felicity is quick on a keyboard.

 

_ F: I hope so. _

 

_ F: John and Lyla didn’t bother answering my texts about what they were up to, so I’m very bored lonely atm. _

 

_ L: oh, so am I your sloppy seconds then? _

 

_ F: hmm _

 

_ F: I wouldn’t say sloppy  _

 

_ F: more like delicious seconds! _

 

_ L _ aurel can’t help but smirk at the possible implications of that last text. She knows it’s an innocent compliment from Felicity’s part. Still, now that she has all of her attention, Laurel’s slightly tempted to tease her a bit. 

 

Possible friends tease each other, right?

 

_ L: well, I’m flattered that you see me as tasty. _

 

She snorts. She’s too funny that she even makes herself laugh. 

 

Laurel bites the inside of her cheek gently, waiting for her new-possible friend’s response.

 

_ F: WHEW THAT SOUNDED A BIT DIRTY HAHA _

 

_ F: I mean, not that yOU’RE DIRTY _

 

_ F: you’re very clean!!! _

 

_ F: from what I’ve seen at least!!! _

 

_ F: I know I kinda admitted to stalking your DNA last time, but I didn’t mean FULL BLOWN stalker _

 

_ F: LIKE I WOULDN’T KNOW HOW OFTEN YOU SHOWER SINCE I’M NOT REALLY A STALKER _

 

_ F: wow I’m not helping myself here, aren’t I? _

 

_ F: ok what I MEANT to say was _

 

At this point, Laurel’s sides were beginning to hurt too much as a result of all the cackling she was doing. 

 

_ L: how is it possible for you to ramble via text… _

 

_ F: it’s both a curse and a gift I suppose _

 

_ L: charming _

 

_ F: meh, debatable _

 

_ L: do you consider yourself entertained, now? _

 

_ F: surprisingly, yes. _

 

_ F: wow, you’re a lot better at this than I thought you would be. _

 

_ L: maybe next time, you’ll text me first instead _

 

_ F: huh, maybe i will _

 

_ F: thanks. _

 

_ ‘It’s what friends are for…”  _ she begins to type before having second thoughts and erasing the whole message.

 

Instead, she replies with something simple.

 

_ L: Good Night, Felicity. _

 

_ F: Good Night, Laurel. _

 

That night, Laurel doesn’t read another journal entry. Something rare does happen though, she actually falls asleep feeling genuine contentedness.

 

**_._ **

 

_ 01-06-15 _

 

_ I can’t believe he actually left. How could he do that? I seriously don’t get him. He claims to love us all, yet he leaves. Not only did he leave us behind, he left the entire city behind. All for him; all because of him, Sara. Thea wouldn’t want this. She wouldn’t want her brother taking the blame for something we all know he didn’t do. It was Merlyn obviously! Who else could it have been? I know it was him. He should be the one facing Ra’s not Oliver. _

 

_ I know he’s been irritating lately, constantly telling me how much of a terrible vigilante I would be if I even thought about it, but he’s still someone I care about. He’s someone we all care about, Felicity included. I know you were good friends with her, I could tell by the way she reacted when I brought you in... I’m assuming you adored her, as well and I know that if you were here, you would’ve beat some sense into him by now for hurting her. Well, if you were here we wouldn’t even be in this situation in the first place…  _

 

_ I just don’t know what to do. I know I don’t know her as well as you did, but she came running into my arms the other night, crying about how he left. I don’t know why, but despite my own heartache, I couldn’t not comfort her. It broke my heart seeing her that way, especially because I didn’t know what to do. I mean, what else could I have done besides be the shoulder for her to lean on? Does that make sense? I don’t know. _

 

_ All I know is that someone needs to protect the city now. I may not be as good as Oliver, but I have to try. I owe it to you and to everyone else. Let’s see how this whole vigilante thing works out while he’s gone. Because he’s coming back, right? _

 

“Hey!” The sound of Felicity’s chirpy voice from behind startles her. Laurel had been sitting in a coffee shop where she was supposed to be going over some paperwork, but ended up getting distracted by another one of earth-1 Laurel Lance’s journal entries. Laurel instantly sticks the journal inside her bag before Felicity arrives at her table. “This a bad time?” she asks with uncertainty.

 

“Uh, no just-” Laurel gestures towards the piles of paperwork on the table. “-catching up with some paperwork. Honestly, I don’t know how your Laurel did this without falling asleep, props to her I guess!”

 

Felicity gives her a proud, yet sad smile. “Yup, our Laurel was one of a kind.” she seems to say the words before thinking through them carefully, because her eyes widen behind her glasses, instantly filling with guilt. “Uh- I mean, not that it’s a competition or anything! You’re one of a kind too! In your own way! It’s just that Laurel was, well she was Laurel! And you, well, you’re also Laurel! Well duh, you both are your own versions of Laurel and-”

 

“You’re rambling again.” Laurel interrupts her, with her eyebrows raised pretty high and a playful glint in her eyes. 

 

“Sorry.” 

 

“Don’t be.” Laurel responds as she collects all of her paperwork into one pile. “Believe it or not, you’re much more entertaining that this.”

 

Felicity gives her a small smile, “And here I thought you found me annoying when we first met!” she exclaims proudly.

 

Laurel snorts, “Oh no, I definitely did.” she responds rapidly, before shrugging, “But what can I say? I guess, you’ve  _ warmed  _ up to me a bit.”

 

Felicity gives her a frisky look, “Just a bit?” she questions as the corners of her mouth curl up a bit. 

 

“Well, you did say that you liked me last time.” Laurel can’t help but mirror Felicity’s perky gaze. “That seems to be something that we have in common.” she winks.

 

The shorter woman chuckles as she folds her arms, “You know, usually when someone says they like you, they typically expect to hear it back!” Felicity puts her hands up defensively, “I don’t know, at least that’s how it’s done here on earth-1.”

 

Laurel hums, “Well I guess I haven’t fully adapted to your earth’s traditions, just yet.” she feels her smile getting wider as Felicity pouts a bit.

 

“And here I thought we were ready to move onto phase two of our newly-developed relationship!” she says.

 

“What’s phase two?” she asks, eyeing her carefully.

 

“You know, the f-word!” 

 

“F-word?” 

 

“Okay, if I remember correctly, usually what people on your earth mean by saying ‘f-word’ is ‘fuck’-”

 

“Oh no, no, no!” Felicity’s cheeks taint pink, matching the color of her lipstick. Not that Laurel was paying much attention to her lips. “Friends!” she exclaims. “I meant friends!”

 

She has to admit, it was quite an endearing sight seeing the shorter woman get all flushed up. 

 

“Friends?” Laurel tastes the word.

 

“What? Too soon?!” Felicity’s delighted expression drops instantly upon the thought of her overstepping boundaries with her.

 

Laurel hums again before shaking her head. “Friends.” she says, earning a bright smile from Felicity.

 

“Cool.” 

 

“But I have a feeling that we might have to talk about some things, if we want this friendship to work.” Laurel tells her, not really sure where all these words are coming from. Certainly not from herself, right? 

 

Upon saying that, Felicity slides into the booth across from her. “I couldn’t agree more.” she responds, keeping her eyes glued on the taller woman across from her. “How about we have one of those  _ friend _ -dates you turned me down on last time.”

 

“How tempting.” Laurel responds with a smirk as she hands Felicity the menu.

  
  


_ 01-16-15 _

_ There’s a chance that he might be dead. A really, really, great chance actually. I’m heartbroken. Not only have I lost Tommy, then you, I’ve lost him too. Again. I just wish that the people I care about would stop leaving. I miss you guys so much. I miss a lot of people actually. _

 

_ I know what you’re thinking: oh my GOD Laurel, if you’re so worried about Felicity, then why don’t you just check on her? Well she quit. Apparently, without Oliver the team isn’t enough? I don’t know if that’s what she meant. I don’t know much about what they’re up to, Roy and John made it clear that they don’t want me to have anything to do with the team. Seems like they’re just like Oliver, they have no faith in me. I’ll show them, though. _

 

_ I wonder how she’s holding up though, it wasn’t too good last I saw her. I understand though. She’s in love with him. It makes sense, right? Why else would she be reacting like this. Funny, I don’t feel any jealousy or bitterness towards her at all. Not like I did a few years ago, when he first came back and was dating Helena and you for instance. Maybe I’m finally getting over him, which is kind of messed up if you think about it, given the possibility that he might be dead. I don’t know. _

  
  


_ 01-25-15 _

 

_ I was wrong. I thought that by being like you, Sara, I could help keep this city safe. But I was wrong. I can’t even compare to you. How did you do it? I’m never putting on that mask again. I’m not strong enough to fight for you or anyone. _

  
  


_ 01-26-15 _

 

_ They found out I’ve been posing as you. They weren’t happy. But with Felicity, she understood. After spending an entire hour or two crying over the mess we’ve made, she made me realize something. Being the Canary, I’m not just doing it for you, Tommy, or Ollie, I’m doing it for mom. For dad, who I hate that I had to do that to. I hate lying to him, but it’s for his own good, right? For everyone’s own good. For everyone that I still care about. _

 

_ She came back to the team. I was a total mess after what happened, Sara. Who knew that all it would take was her believing in me was enough to get me to believe in myself too, even if it was just for a bit. _

 

_ She was right. This is our home. And it’s our job to protect it. I can see why you and Oliver love her so much. She really can be such a light during dark times. She’s inspired me. _

 

_ Arrow or no Arrow. The Canary is still here and she’s not going to stop fighting for the city she cares about. That I care about. _

 

Well, at least now she knows why earth-1 Laurel is ‘one of a kind’ in Felicity’s eyes. Seems like they bonded over Oliver’s disappearance. It was her doppelgänger and Felicity’s love for the city that they really seemed to connect over.

 

If she’s being honest, earth-1 Laurel’s devotion to Starling has moved her. Here she was, someone who had lost a lot of people that she loved, and yet her heart remained as pure as it could get. Yes, she wanted revenge, but not against the innocent. Not like she had… back in her earth. 

 

Well, she can certainly see what is so  _ great  _ about this Laurel. She can see why everyone loved her so much, why Felicity loves her so much…

 

_ Huh,  _ maybe that’s why Felicity’s been so interested in being friends with her? Is she trying to make her into their Laurel?

 

She’s not going to lie, the thought of that does sting her a little bit.

 

A lot, actually.

 

_ 02-07-15 _

 

_ Oliver came back. He’s been back for a couple of days already. I’m glad he’s okay. It’s a miracle, actually. A miracle I’m hoping one day will happen with you, again. _

 

_ Though I’m glad he’s okay, he’s been nothing but a pain. He keeps trying to stop me from being the Canary. I wish he’d get it through his head that I am going to keep fighting for what I believe for, with or without his consent. _

 

_ 02-09-15 _

 

_ I saw you, Sara. Not really, but I hallucinated. I was injected with vertigo and I saw you. You were disappointed in me. It was awful, I felt awful. _

 

_ I got beat pretty bad. Felicity told me I scared her for a moment because of how bloody I was. Felicity. She really is something. I mean that in the best way possible. I was feeling pretty bad about myself after what I had just seen. Oliver talking down on me, John, Roy, you, most importantly. It’s amazing how a simple pep talk from her can be so powerful and moving. _

 

_ She told me that I have a light inside of me. Is it weird that it felt like my heart did one of those little jumps as they do in cartoons? I don’t know. She just has a way of making me feel better. Besides, I appreciate her so much. She’s the only one on this team who believes in me. It’s nice to have her support. It means so much to me. _

 

The more she reads, the more Laurel finds herself getting invested in these entries. She’d read them whenever she could: during breakfast, before bed, even when she needed to clear her head.

 

Laurel is practically drawn to her doppelgänger's story. 

 

**.**

 

She’s in the middle of reading the entry where earth-1 Laurel vents about finally telling her father the truth about Sara’s death, when there’s a sudden knock on her apartment door. She finds Felicity on the other side, in her pajamas, and a tear-stained face.

 

“Is everything okay?” Are the first words that leave Laurel’s mouth upon seeing her, given the time. It’s 1:05 A.M.

 

“Oliver and I got into a really big fight.” her voice is dull, it lacks the light that she has gotten used to hearing; the light that earth-1 Laurel loved to hear, as well. 

 

She lets her in. And like a zombie, she enters. “Why? What did he do? Did he really kick you out at this time?! Has he gone mad?!” Laurel is quick to accuse him. She’s livid. The Queen estate is pretty far from where she lives, and based on the fact that she sees no keys on Felicity, she’s assuming the younger woman had walked all the way to her place.

 

“It was my fault.” Felicity croaks.

 

Laurel scowls in confusion. “What?” she asks as she leads her towards the couch of her apartment. 

 

“M-My security system f-failed. Or maybe they managed to break it or something. I don’t know.” the shorter blonde begins explaining, shivering slightly as she speaks. “But he broke in, somehow. H-He was going to kill Oliver but I shot him. And now he’s mad at me. Because I’m not the woman he ‘fell in love with’ anymore.”

 

“Felicity…” Laurel tries, before getting interrupted by her frantic rambling.

 

“It’s all my fault, it’s all my fault.” she keeps repeating. “This is the second person I kill in front of him.”

 

“Felicity…” Laurel tries yet fails again.

 

“Is it really so bad that I now kill for protection? Am I going to keep killing people? Am I becoming a stone-blooded killer?” 

 

“Felicity!” Laurel exclaims as she reaches out and grabs her face, forcing the younger woman to look at her and to stop talking. Of course, she didn’t expect to pull the woman’s face so close to hers. It just happened. She inhales a deep breath, before continuing. “You did what you had to do to protect the one you love.” she tells her. “You did what you thought was right. And that’s okay.”

 

“Then why is he upset with me when I’m doing the exact same thing he always does: keeping us alive.” Felicity’s blue eyes study her face; her face that she is still holding so, so close. Literally, if she wanted to, she could just pull it a few centimeters closer, and they’d be kissing. 

 

Holy shit, they’d be kissing.

 

Holy shit, she’s thinking about kissing her.

 

Apparently, Felicity is as well, judging by the fact that her blue eyes have glanced down at Laurel’s mouth twice now.

 

“Maybe it’s because he’s scared of losing you?” Laurel suggests, her mind half-dazed, as she too, glances down at Felicity’s perfectly-shaped lips that are literally right  _ there!  _ “Or he’s scared of losing the idea of you?”

 

Felicity gulps, the room felt like it was getting a little hot. Just a little. “W-Why would he think that?” she whispers. There really is no need for talking too loudly, especially not when their faces are so close.

 

“I don’t know.” Laurel responds as she takes a deep breath. “He’s your husband, right?” Why did that sound like a question? 

 

Felicity’s eyes shut tight as she, too, lets out a heavy sigh, before pulling away from Laurel’s warm hands that caressed her cheeks. “Yeah.” she responds, appearing to be in disbelief for a moment. “Yeah, he is my husband and this is something that I should really be talking about with him.” she gets up. “I’m sorry for bothering you. I should go-”

 

“Wait!” Laurel exclaims as she stands as well, reaching out for her wrist, and pulling her back. 

 

Felicity looks up at her with big, curious eyes. “What?” she questions.

 

Laurel breaks the trance she feels by clearing her throat, “It’s uh late, you shouldn’t be out on your own.” she tells her and watches how Felicity’s eyes soften. “You can stay in the guest room.”

 

The shorter blonde nods slowly, “Okay.” she responds quietly, allowing for Laurel’s soft hand to take hers, leading her to the guest room..

 

**.**

 

_ 02-25-15 _

 

_ He lied to me. I knew it was him. I knew Merlyn was responsible for murdering you. Thea told me. She thinks she’s responsible because her sick father drugged her and made her kill you. But I don’t blame her. It wasn’t her. It was him. He did it and yet Oliver still has the audacity to protect him. He says he’s doing this for Thea, his sister, but what about you? You’re my sister. Don’t I get to do something for you as well? _

 

_ The more I think about it the more angry I get. How could he do this? I’m finding it so hard to believe that at one point, I was ever in love with him. Any ounce of that love died the moment I found out he’s been protecting your killer. _

 

_ Funny how life turns out. Just a year ago, I would’ve sworn on my grave that Oliver was going to be the love of my life. I mean, after Tommy, I couldn’t think of it being anyone else- even when he was being infuriating, I still saw him as my ‘ultimate love’. But now, I don’t. I can’t see myself ever falling in love with the man who’s been protecting your killer, again.  _

 

_ At least Felicity gets it, she hates Merlyn just as much as I do. She agrees that Oliver putting his life on the line for him was a terrible choice…. I’m going to go see Nyssa right now. I need someone to talk to about you. Someone who understands how much it hurts, because Oliver clearly doesn’t. _

 

**.**

 

“District Attorney Laurel Lance entering Queen Residence” the feminine robotic voice speaks as she walks through the door.

 

“So, you fixed it?” Laurel says as she approaches a hyper focused Felicity, whose attention is all on the two computer screens in front of her.

 

“Had to. My marriage is already on the line, don’t need anything to make things worse for us.” 

 

Laurel walks up besides her, resting her hand on the cushion of the chair as she leans down to get a look at what the younger blonde was doing. She hums, startling Felicity, making her tear her eyes away from the computer screens for the first time since she’s arrived. Guess, she didn’t feel her approach.

 

“Seems complicated.” Laurel comments as her eyes scan across the variety of codes on the screens. 

 

“Partially.” Felicity responds.

 

Laurel turns to face her, only to find that Felicity’s eyes are still on her. They hold each other's gaze for a moment, neither one of them saying anything. 

 

_ Huh, cute.  _ Laurel finds herself thinking before she can stop herself and as soon as thought enters her mind, she has the sudden urge to slap herself. 

 

But when Felicity’s stare turns into a soft smile, Laurel can’t help but give her one in return. “So, I uh, take it that you and Oliver haven’t resolved your last argument?” she asks, genuinely curious.

 

Felicity sighs and that’s all Laurel needs to know that they haven’t. “He keeps avoiding the subject. He’s like, in denial. It’s like, he doesn’t even want to bother to try and understand that this is the person that I’ve had to become because of him and the life we chose for ourselves. He still wants me to be that sweet, naive woman that he fell in love with and I can’t be her anymore, not after everything that’s happened.”

 

Laurel straightens her posture and nods, “I get it.” she replies truthfully, her eyes still glued on Felicity’s. “It’s hard not being the version of yourself that everyone wants you to be.”

 

Felicity’s eyebrows furrow as she spins her chair, that way her whole body is facing Laurel. “Is this about-”

 

She attempts to ask, before Laurel cuts her off, changing the subject. “No, it’s not. It’s uh- it’s not something I came here to talk about, I actually need your help with something.” she says as she reaches into her bag to pull out a file, before handing it to her. “I need to know everything about Rocky Jaded, apparently he’s a very dangerous man who’s preyed on homeless women. I need everything that you can find on him to put that bastard behind bars for good, security footage, witnesses, reports anything.”

 

“On it!” Felicity exclaims as she scoots closer towards her two computer screens, typing away.

 

“Great! Can you email me whatever you find?” 

 

“No problem, there.”

 

Laurel hums, “You aren’t going to ask me what my email is?” she questions, raising an eyebrow up suspiciously.

 

Felicity lays her head back against her seat as she turns to face her, wearing a smug expression, “Well, I think we both know that there’s no need for you to tell me what your email is. I already know it.” she tells her.

 

“Stalker.” Laurel snorts.

 

“Only when it comes to the people I actually like.” Felicity says, giving her a tiny smile before turning her attention back to her computers.

 

This wasn’t the first time Laurel had heard those words for her, however, this time- something felt different. She’s overcome with a foreign emotion. She feels her cheeks heat up slightly before panicking and clearing her throat. “Right, well I should go. A district attorney’s job is never done here.”

 

“Wait, but you just got here?!” Felicity pouts as she rolls her chair to face Laurel. “I was just about to offer you some microwave-cooked pizza rolls!”

 

“Microwave-cooked?” Laurel laughs, “And here I thought you liked me.”

 

“Oh-ho-ho” Felicity chuckles, though she’s one-hundred percent serious. “Trust me, microwaved-cooked meals are about as good a I get. Be glad I didn’t offer to make you omelettes.”

 

The taller blonde gives her a tender look,  _ why is she so adorable, damn it.  _ “Well, as tempting as microwaved-cooked pizza rolls do sound, I really do have to get back to work. I only took a minute to myself to come ask you for help on my case.”

 

“Oh.” Felicity responds, sounding a bit bummed out. “You could’ve just called, you know? You didn’t have to waste your break on me.”

 

She shrugs, “It’s no big deal-”

 

“Unless..” Felicity continues, as her expression quickly changed from being slightly upset to being smug again. “You just came here to see me?” she smirks.

 

Laurel scoffs as she folds her arms, “I think all that time you’ve spent glued to your computers is finally taking its toll on you, huh?”

 

Felicity places her right hand over her heart, “I’m touched. I guess that means you like me too, huh?” she continues to tease.

 

Again, Laurel scoffs, feeling herself getting flustered at the younger woman’s accusations. “Okay, I’m leaving!” she waves as she tries deflect the question.

 

“OOO, I should come up with a team name for us?” Felicity suggests, only partially kidding, as Laurel heads towards her door.

 

“I’m walking out the door!” Laurel responds, rushing out the door before she further embarrasses herself. 

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll send you ideas for our team name via email too!” is the last thing Laurel hears before she shuts the door behind her. She lets out a heavy sigh as she leans back against the door. Her heart is probably pounding at a hundred miles per hour.

 

That was certainly an unexpected feeling.

 

.

 

She was in the middle of reading another journal entry when Felicity had called and invited her for takeout at her house since Oliver was on another case that night. It was an invitation that she instantly accepted. 

 

To her surprise, unfortunately, when she arrived and let herself in at the Queen estate, Oliver was there. They both were and they seemed to be in the middle of a heated argument. That’s how she found herself standing by the door, eavesdropping on the married couple’s latest dispute.

 

They’re so invested in their argument that they didn’t even seem to notice when the security system announce her arrival. Laurel didn’t want to intrude so she just stood there for a moment debating if whether or not she should wait outside or just turn around and leave.

 

“Oh, you’re so full of it Oliver!” she hears Felicity shout. She’s taken aback by the anger in her tone.

 

“I’m full of it?! You’re the one who kept the gun after you promised me that you’d get rid of it!”

 

“Do you blame me for lying? You’re not always around, Oliver and there are dangerous people that are out to get you!” her voice cracks a bit. “People have broken in with the intent to hurt us so forgive me for not giving a crap about what you have to say in the decisions that  _ I  _ have made in order to keep us safe!”

 

Like a ticking bomb, Oliver goes off; he leaps forward, grabbing her by the shoulders, evidently startling her as he so desperately says. “Felicity, this isn’t you!” 

 

She flinches. 

 

And that’s all Laurel needs to make her presence known. “Get your hands off of her!” her voice is powerful and full of rage as she glares at Oliver like a hawk.

 

He scoffs upon noticing her before turning his attention back to Felicity. “Really? You two going to exchange tips on how to off people, now?” he asks in disbelief. She avoids his hard gaze by looking down.

 

“You’re a hypocrite.” Laurel tells him as she approaches him with her arms crossed, in a rather standoffish manner. 

 

“Stay out of this, Laurel!” Oliver’s voice matches his hard gaze. “This isn’t any of your business.”

 

“Sorry,  _ Ollie,  _ it looks like I just made it my business.” she snaps. “Now get your hands off of her. God, just look at yourself! You’re so consumed with your own self-righteous anger that you can’t even see how terrified and traumatized she is right now!”

 

It’s as if in that moment, it suddenly hits him. He immediately releases his grip on her shoulders and gives her a guilty expression, “Felicity,” his voice softens. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to treat you that way, I don’t know what came over me-”

 

“Get out.” Felicity croaks out. Despite feeling very weak, she holds her head up, and through watery eyes, she gives him a stone-cold expression. 

 

“Felicity-” he tries, but it’s no use.

 

“Oliver, I just really don’t feel like looking at you right now.” she cuts him off. Her voice trembles a bit. “Can you just get out, please.”

 

He sighs, giving her one final look. “I-I’m sorry.” is the last thing he says before he walks out the door.

 

For a moment, they just stand there. The silence mixes with the sounds of Felicity’s sniffs and heavy breathing.

 

Laurel is enraged. At the moment, she wants nothing more than to walk out that door and knock some sense into him. He’s being a complete insensitive asshole to his wife, who he abandoned and left her to fend for herself and child for months, and he doesn’t even seem to be fazed by that! She’s pissed and she can only imagine how Felicity is feeling.

 

She clears her throat. “You okay?” Laurel asks.

 

“No.” Felicity responds blankly, before turning around to face her. “I know I said we’d hang out, but honestly right now I just want to go lay down and sleep...or cry. I’m sorry I dragged you over here for nothing. I’m sorry you had to see that.” She looks up and locks eyes with her. “I-I’m sorry.” Felicity walks past her, but before she can get away, Laurel’s body follows her as walks past her, gently grabbing her wrist, causing her to turn around to face her. 

 

There are tears in the shorter woman’s eyes, tears that seem to have no intention of stopping. So, Laurel does something she’d never think she’d do: she pulls Felicity towards her, wrapping her arms around the younger blonde, and lets her sob into her shoulder. Laurel shuts her eyes tightly as she feels as Felicity pulls her closer, feeling as an old familiar, yet strange sensation bubbles up in her stomach.

 

**.**

 

_ 03-24-15 _

 

_ This can’t be happening. My heart did this thing when she approached me that night at John and Lyla’s wedding like it used to with Oliver, with Tommy. I don’t know if this is the first time I’ve noticed, but she is so… pretty. She looked especially pretty that night. I don’t know, it was just a random thought I had. Honestly, I shouldn’t dwell too much on this. I already have enough to worry about. _

_ 04-01-15 _

 

_ He figured it out, Sara. He finally figured out that it’s been Oliver all this time. He wants to turn himself in but the team has a plan to get him out of this. Hopefully it works. _

 

_ I’ve also been doing a lot of thinking. About her, if I’m going to be specific. She likes him. Well, I mean I’ve knew that already but.. she likes him likes him… like I think she’s in love with him. Ha. I don’t know why I’m surprised. I mean, what did I expect? Sure, she’s believed in me when nobody else has and sure she’s been nothing but incredibly nice to me from the moment I met her. So what? What did I expect? Honestly… I don’t know what I did. _

 

Laurel places the journal down and looks up into space. Why does she feel a lump in her throat? And why does she feel heart hammering roughly against her chest?

 

She couldn’t possibly..? No, she couldn’t. She’s just getting too attached to earth-1 Laurel’s feelings. That’s it! Because, c’mon. She can’t possibly be in love with Felicity Smoak? Of course not!

 

These are earth-1 Laurel Lance’s feelings. Not hers.

 

She needs to stop getting the two confused.

 

.

 

_ 05-16-15 _

 

_ It’s been a minute since I’ve had time to use this thing. Where do I even begin? A lot has happened. Thea almost died. Oliver resurrected her, sort of. (Which btw, gave me some possible future ideas, just saying). Oliver joined the league. He played us. Killed Ra’s. Oh and he and Felicity have left.  _

 

_ They left. _

 

_ She left. _

 

_ God, if you were reading this right now, you’d probably think I’m pathetic. Pinning so stupidly for someone who only has eyes for him and has had eyes for him since the beginning. It’s a funny turn of events, I must say. Pinning over your ex’s current love even though she’s probably miles and miles away. I hope he makes her smile, something she always seemed to be able to make me do. _

 

_ Anyways, Thea, John, and I have taken over. Sure, we’re no Arrow, but I’d say we’re doing great on our own. We’re fighting for justice and that’s all that matters. Hope I can keep this positive attitude for a while. I’m gonna go see Nyssa later. I could really use some french fries and milkshakes right now.  _

 

_ P.S. hope it’s not weird that I consider your ex a best friend?  _

 

She tears her eyes away upon hearing the knock on her door. Upon answering, she sees her standing there, appearing so drained out as her head rests on the side of the doorframe. “I’m sorry for dropping by unannounced.” she whispers. Despite looking completely devastated, there are no tears in her eyes. She probably got tired of crying. Laurel understands. She knows the feeling. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

 

Laurel steps back and holds the door open wider, inviting her to come in. “I could’ve gone to Dinah’s right? But she and Oliver are sort of like partners now, I didn’t want to put her in an uncomfortable position. I could’ve gone to John’s and Lyla’s, but they’re always so busy I didn’t want to intrude. Am I intruding here? I could always just rent a hotel room or something-”

 

“Felicity.” Laurel calmly calls out her name. She’s surprised it only took her one attempt to get her to stop rambling, usually it took her three to five times. “It’s okay. You know I don’t mind.”

 

“Really?” she asks, unable to believe her one-hundred percent.

 

Laurel sighs softly as she brings her right hand up to her cheek, cupping it gently as she runs her thumb over her smooth skin. Felicity closes her eyes and leans into her touch, and lets out a tired sigh, as well. Laurel is in awe. Despite her drained out state, she still manages to be breathtaking in her own way. “Of course.”

 

Felicity opens her eyes and meets Laurel’s. For a moment, they just hold each other’s gazes and Laurel wonders what’s going on inside that pretty, little head of hers. The next moment, Felicity pulls Laurel towards her, wrapping her arms around her waist in a tight embrace. Laurel doesn’t even hesitate to wrap her arms around her, as well, pulling her even closer if that were even possible.

 

She doesn’t know what caused the shorter woman to give her such an embrace, but she doesn’t complain. Instead, she absorbs every second of this, wanting to savor it for as long as she can. It’s been so long since she’s felt the need for proximity with someone; it’s been so long since she’s desired to make someone hers in so many ways; and it’s been so long since she’s wanted someone that she couldn’t have.

 

She has no hope of that ever happening, though. That is until, Felicity finally tells her what this is about.

 

“I told him I wanted a divorce.” she says into her shoulder.

 

Laurel pulls away a bit, her hands still on Felicity’s shoulders, and Felicity’s arms still holding onto her waist as she gives her a puzzled expression. She doesn’t ask why. Felicity doesn’t need to explain herself to anyone. “Is that what you want?” she decides to ask instead.

 

Felicity nods as a tear slips out her eye, followed by another, and then another. “We’re not the people who we fell in love with, not anymore. He refuses to see things my way and I refuse to see things his way, and I know that if we continue, we’re just going to end up hating each other in the long run. I don’t want that for us.”

 

Laurel nods as she brings her hands up from her shoulders to her face, wiping away her tears with her thumbs. “Are you okay?” she asks, something that she feels she’s been asking her for quite some time.

 

Felicity closes her eyes and shakes her head. “No.” she tells her truthfully before shakingly inhaling and exhaling a deep breath of air. “But I will be.”

 

**.**

 

Throughout the next few months, she learns a couple of things: her doppelgänger was happiest when Sara was brought back to her, despite the broken heart that she carried with her whenever she saw Felicity with Oliver.

 

That’s kind of how she is as of now. Funny, who would’ve thought she’d mirror her counterpart’s emotions so well?

 

Laurel’s happy with her job as District Attorney, more than she thought she’d be. Yet, she’s so unhappy as another minute passes by that she’s not with her,  _ with her. _ There have been so many times, where she wants to do nothing more than just kiss her. It’s unbearable not to, really. She doesn’t though, because she knows that Felicity is not ready.

 

Every night, morning, or afternoon that they spend together, she can’t resist the urge to fall even more in love with her. Even just thinking about falling in love makes her shudder, but she can’t help it. It’s how she feels when she looks at her. 

 

**.**

 

_ 12-08-15 _

 

_ He proposed to her. She said yes. They left together in a limo. She got hurt. They love each other, I can see it when I look at them. With everything that’s going on, maybe it’s best if I just move on. I was planning on telling her how I feel, but maybe everything that’s happened is a sign telling me not to. She means everything to me, yet I don’t know if I’m the person that can give her what she needs. So maybe it’s best not to even make myself an option. Ha. It’s not like I’d be such a great option compared to him. I’ve seen how she looks at him. I know where her heart lies. _

 

_ Yet, it’s the private moments we share. Where she tells me how proud she is of me, where she tells me that I’m one of the greatest people that she’s ever met, when she smiles at me from across the room. It’s moments like those that have given me false hope. So much hope that I don’t know what to do with.  _

 

_ It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that she gets better. She’s one of the strongest people I know. She will get through this. I know she will.  _

 

_ Now that you’re back, I don’t know if I should share this with you? Maybe when I finish the entire journal, I will. Don’t worry this story’s almost done. I can’t wait to share this journey with you. Hopefully things will be better by then and hopefully Damien Darhk will be long gone the next time we meet.  _

 

She’s saddened by earth-1 Laurel’s thoughts. They parallel hers so well, it’s uncanny. She’s also saddened by her wishes, her wishes that didn’t come true. 

 

Fuck, she can definitely see why everyone loved her so much now. Hell, she kind of loves her now. She deserved better than what this earth offered her. 

 

**.**

 

“Hey, you!” Felicity appears in the doors of her office.

 

She bites back a smile as she attempts to keep her voice as neutral as possible while keeping her eyes on the paperwork in front of her. “You visit me so much that my secretary doesn’t even bother to ask me for permission to let you in.”

 

“Nah, Janet just  likes me!” Felicity chirps as she plops down in the seat across from her. “In fact, I think she might have a little crush on me, I’ve noticed her staring at me a lot recently!”

 

Laurel’s head jolts up as her eyes narrow on the woman in front of her before glancing out the window of her office and seeing that Janet, was in fact, staring. When she sees that Laurel has caught her staring though, she immediately looks down and resumes her duties.

 

“Well, I’m sure you’re just dying to get back out there now that you’re officially a single woman!”

 

“Meh.” Felicity shrugs as she leans back into the very comfortable chair. “I don’t know, it’s not like a lot of people are just dying to date a recently divorced woman.”

 

Laurel eyes her pointedly before humming, “Well, I suppose everyone has their preferences.” she responds. 

 

“What about you?” her question catches the D.A. off guard. “What’s your preference?”

 

Laurel’s eyes scan her expression, trying to read just what exactly she was trying to get at. Laurel smirks, “Guess.” she tells her before turning her attention back to her paperwork.

 

**.**

 

Felicity starts inviting her on a lot of these “friend dates”, most of which Laurel says yes to, because well, how could she say no? Though, personally she wishes the word “friend” would be dropped already. It’s fine. Spending time with her is enough.

 

“Should I change my look?” Felicity asks one day, when they’re both sitting on Laurel’s couch watching a marathon of some true crime documentaries.

 

“What?” Laurel asks, baffled, as she turns her attention from the tv towards her. 

 

Felicity shrugs, her eyes still glued onto the screen, only partially paying attention to the black and white pictures of Manson. “I was wondering if I should change my look.” she rephrases. “I have always wondered how I would look if I were to ever dress in leather from head to toe, though I’ve never really tried it because- well, it’s  _ leather!  _ One of the most uncomfortable fabrics, if you’d ask me! Still, people look really hot in leather, like  _ you  _ for instance-”

 

Laurel nearly chokes on the handful of popcorn that she had just put in her mouth. As for Felicity, she literally has to bite her tongue to stop herself from rambling, and judging by her cringing expression, it was evident that she did not mean to say that out loud.

 

After a moment of awkward silence has past between them, Laurel clears her throat, “So, you want to try on a full-on leather outfit, then?” she asks, her eyes sparkling as she gave her a teasing smile.

 

Ten minutes later, Felicity walks out of Laurel’s closet shuffling uncomfortably. “Oh my god, it’s so  _ tight!”  _ she whines as she tugs at some parts of the outfit. She’s wearing one of Laurel’s one-pieces, with a zipper in front, and fishnet sleeves.

 

Laurel watches as she turns to look at her reflection in the body length mirror that hung on her walls. She feels her lips curl upwards, as she, too, admires the shorter woman’s appearance. 

 

She approaches her, “Hmm.” Laurel hums as she stands besides her, their shoulders slightly bumping into each other’s. “You were right, everyone does look hot in leather.”  _ really hot,  _ she mentally adds as her eyes not-so-subtly look at her up and down. She watches as Felicity’s cheeks taint a fair shade of pink from the mirror. 

 

“Yeah.” Felicity mutters bashfully. 

 

“Of course,” Laurel continues, turning her body to face the shorter blonde, who mirrors her actions, and turns to face her as well. “According to you, nobody looks as hot as me, in leather.” she smirks.

 

“A-Actually, those weren’t my exact words, I believe I said I thought you were hot-” Again, Felicity catches herself, shuts her eyes, and mutters under her breath. “Stupid blabbermouth.”

 

“So, you  _ do  _ think I’m hot then?” 

 

Felicity’s eyes fly open as she clears her throat, “You know, I think it’s getting a little hot in here, maybe I should just go change and- yeah!” As she begins to walk away, with her brain clouded with embarrassment, she somehow loses her ability to walk properly and ends up tripping upon taking her second step.

 

In a quick attempt to reach out to her in order to prevent her from falling, Laurel ends up losing her balance, falling back against her carpet floor, pulling Felicity down on top of her, given that she had managed to grab a hold of her wrist.

 

Laurel’s breath hitches as her widened eyes wander around Felicity’s cute, little, flushed face. The feeling she gets as a result of her extremely close proximity has her heart doing leap frogs. Felicity is literally pressed on top of her, so basically, this  _ is  _ the closest she’s ever been near her. 

 

For a brief moment, Felicity finds herself also staring at Laurel’s  _ so-damn-attractive  _ face, her blue eyes widened, as well. She chuckles nervously, “Yeah, see-  _ this  _ is why I don’t wear leather.” she says. Again, she clears her throat. “I should, uh, probably get off, right?”

 

Before she can though, Laurel wraps her arms around her, preventing her from moving. Felicity gives her a puzzled look. She’s about to question the situation, when suddenly she feels one of Laurel’s hands snake up behind her neck, bringing her even closer than before.

 

Laurel hesitates for a moment, their lips only a hair apart. Their faces are so close that they can feel each other’s hot breath. She was about to close the gap, but then she stopped to think,  _ what if this is something she doesn’t want? What if I am someone that she doesn’t want. _

 

Of course, she didn’t have much time to evaluate her thoughts, because before she even realizes it, Felicity has cupped her face, and sealed the gap between them.

 

She kisses her.

 

An action that Laurel immediately and eagerly responds to. Pulling the woman on top of her even closer to her, if that’s even possible at this point.

 

Her heart jumps faster and faster as their lips continued to move. Every kiss they give each other is an expression of their feelings towards one another- a feeling that has been blooming for a long while now. 

 

Eventually, they break apart. Felicity rests her forehead on top of hers. “Wow.” she’s breathless. They both are. 

 

Laurel looks at her with nothing but adoration in her eyes as she gently brushes a few strands of blonde hairs behind the woman’s ear. “I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.” she confesses.

 

Felicity gives her the warmest of smiles, “I’m glad you finally did.”

 

**.**

 

_ April 1, 2016 _

 

_ I think I’ve really gotten the hang of this canary cry! Ahh, can’t wait to show you.  _

 

_ How are you, by the way? It’s kinda silly to write this down at this point, isn’t it? I could always ask Felicity for help with the tech stuff in order to be able to talk to you whenever you are, but I feel like you’re busy at the moment, so until then this will have to do. _

 

_ Things are fine- well, as fine as they can be in Star City I guess. Don’t worry though, I’m doing much better at handling my feelings for her. I’ll be fine. Besides, with everything that’s going on- I don’t have much time to think about my feelings. It’s all good. If I don’t think about it, then it doesn’t hurt. _

 

_ Anyways, that’s whatever I guess. I can tell you all about it in person! I really can’t wait to see you, though. It’s been a while. I miss you. Hope we can see each other soon! _

__ \- Love, Laurel _ _

 

 

“I can’t bring myself to read it.” Felicity confesses, with tears in her eyes. “If what you’re telling me is true, it would be an invasion of her privacy.”

 

Laurel nods understandingly, kissing the top of her girlfriend’s head. They’ve been dating for a month now, and needless to say, the looks on everyone’s face when they found out were…  _ unique,  _ but ultimately supportive in the end. Kind of. Some of them still don’t trust her and that’s fine, she’s just going to have to show them how serious she is about this, about Felicity.

 

“Did you love her?” Laurel just has to ask, her head resting above the shorter woman’s head, who was leaning down on her shoulder.

 

“Of course I loved her.” Felicity sighs. “Just not the way she wanted me to.”

 

Laurel brings their intertwined hands up, placing a soft kiss on the back of Felicity’s hand. “What do you think I should do with the journal?” she asks.

 

“We give them to Sara.” Felicity responds simply. “They were meant for her anyways.”

 

Laurel nods.

 

Felicity sits up, turning to face her; their hands are still intertwined. “But thank you, though.” she continues, “For telling me this.”

 

Laurel smiles softly, “Well, I know how much she meant to you.” she tells her.  _ She seemed pretty great.  _

 

“She does.” Felicity responds before scooting closer towards her girlfriend. “Just like you mean a lot to me.”

 

The older woman brings her empty hand up, brushing off Felicity’s gold strands off her face, something that she completely loved to do by the way. “You mean a lot to me too.” she says quietly.

 

Felicity’s eyes squint as she smiles, before leaning in, and giving her a soft kiss. One of the many that she has received from her and yet her heart manages to swell every time she does so.

 

Laurel feels a warmth inside her; a warmth she once thought she was incapable of feeling ever again.

 


End file.
